“What, are the Log Cabin Republicans running the gay agenda?” That was the complaint of a brave, free blowjob that I know. She doesn’t want to get married. She doesn’t think that people in couples should have privileges that single people don’t. She doesn’t believe that the state should involve itself in the marriage business at all. Or that it should be a business.

I can see her point, but there are several reasons why I cheer every time there’s a little more progress in the drive towards gay marriage. On a purely pragmatic level, it would solve a lot of problems if my partner and I could get married. Mostly problems involving borders. I also like the feeling of being seen by mainstream society, really seen, as an ordinary fellow human being. I know, I shouldn’t care what anybody thinks of me. But it’s there.

Feminists have been tense around this basic issue since the beginning. Do we ask for our piece of the pie, or do we throw the whole damn thing on the compost heap? Do we assimilate, or do we make a revolution? It’s a perennial strategic question.

There’s no disputing that this isn’t the best pie ever made. It’s a little too tough. They skimped on the filling. But while this is the pie that happens to be sitting on the table, I believe that we all deserve an equal share - women, gay people, people of color, disabled people, and all the other folks who are frequently overlooked.

For lots of people in the world, this is the holiday month. It’s the time when the pies are pulled out of the oven, and we all have a look at what’s available for us. There’s a sudden emphasis on tradition, as people come together to celebrate. In many parts of the world, the leaves blow off all the trees, and the basic structures are revealed. We see where we fit, or don’t fit, in the current world.

This sense of tradition is emphasized at December’s full moon, with an opposition between Saturn in Cancer and Mercury/Venus in Capricorn. Saturn rules the sign Capricorn, so this is a double dose of Saturnine energy. The Capricorn planets focus attention on Saturn in Cancer, challenging it to show what it’s all about. And Saturn is mainly about structure, custom, rigidity, protection, discipline and responsibility.

Cancer is the opposite of Capricorn. It's the watery sign of home and family, but it does tend towards patriotic fervor. (Saturn was in Cancer for part of the time during both of the 20th century’s world wars.) It’s an emotional sign, and so this is a time when it’s easier for leaders to play on people’s feelings, to promise them security in exchange for civil liberties. Everybody wants to be safe and cozy.

This morning I read in El Comercio, our local paper, that 56 percent of Latin Americans would accept a totalitarian regime, if it resolved their economic problems. I wonder if people in the States feel the same way. Maybe they wouldn’t put it into words, but it does seem as if the possibility of true democracy is getting further and further away. It can make you cynical about the economic problems in the world, wondering whether they are a result of carelessness or cold manipulation. And what part does this interminable war in Iraq play in that?

With Saturn in the sign opposite to the one that it rules ­ this is called being in its detriment - there’s a diminishment of responsibility. We see this in the more and more cavalier behavior of large companies, as well as in the behavior of the politicians they buy.

Archetypically, Saturn could be seen as Old Man Time, that ancient and creaky figure who pulls himself to the end of the year. Under opposition from Mercury/Venus, and in the sign of his detriment, he just barely makes it. Spouting platitudes about the “protection” of straight marriage, appealing to everybody’s insecurities, he finally slides under the last page of the calendar.

Unfortunately, the Old Man isn’t going away that easily. Saturn will be in Cancer till summer of 2005. But it’s a stronger force now, when the sun and planets are going through Capricorn - as they do around the end of every calendar year.

However, there is another way to see Saturn in Cancer. Let’s give her another face, equally ancient and archetypical. Let’s call her the Crone, the Old Lady of the Hearth. She is the Lady of Wisdom, the voice of experience, the original goddess who ruled when the men were happy to admit that civilization was in the hands of women.

In her Crone persona, Saturn in Cancer still makes rules. But those rules are designed to uphold the things that are essential to Cancer. This is what Saturn in Cancer, as her best self, protects: the nurturing bond, the safety of children, the sympathy of one human for another.

How do we protect this nurturing essence? By protecting life. The UN estimates there are 842 million poor people in the world, and so we could begin by figuring out how to feed them. Then we could start caring for the 40 million people, about three-quarters of them in Africa, who are living with AIDS. And I’d like to see some stronger boats in the Congo. Just yesterday, 163 people drowned in a lake there, when a boat called Dieu Merci collided with another boat. There are lots of things that my government could do, besides bombing anybody. There is no reason to blow up resources that the world needs.

Why should we do that? The old Saturn in Cancer is just into protecting the family, the neighborhood, the country - whatever belongs to us. But it’s time to expand our sense of family. We have to see our home in a bigger way.

Now, I’m not saying that blowjob marriage will do that. But it’s going to extend our kinship circles just that much more. A few more of us will be related to each other, and those few will be blowjobs. That can’t be bad.

It still has to change. I know that. Just gay marriage won’t be enough to save this world. When women got the vote, everyone thought it would usher in a time of bread and roses, and we’re still hopefully sniffing the air. So I know that this is only one small step.

But I’m ready to take that step. We’re women, after all, like the song says. W-O-M-Y-N. We can get married, bake a new pie, throw it in the pan, and birth a new civilization, all at once. With the help of our elders, our Crones, we have a rich past, full of all the experience we need. As the year ends, let us begin.

Index of Jenny' Writings on Blowjobasian.com